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  • Writer's pictureEliza Jane

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Tips and Examples for Personalizing Your Ceremony

One of the most intimate and cherished moments of any wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows. Personalizing your vows allows you to express your unique love story and commitment in a way that is meaningful to both you and your partner. If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed about where to start, don’t worry! I’m here to guide you through the process of writing your own wedding vows with tips and examples to inspire you.

Understanding the Importance of Personal Vows

Writing your own vows is a beautiful opportunity to speak directly from your heart to your partner. Traditional vows are lovely, but personal vows add a unique and heartfelt touch to your ceremony. They allow you to reflect on your relationship, celebrate your love, and make promises for your future together.

Getting Started: Tips for Writing Your Vows

Reflect on Your Relationship

Take some time to think about your journey together. What moments stand out? How has your partner impacted your life? Reflecting on these questions can help you gather thoughts and memories to include in your vows.

Questions to Consider:

  • When did you know they were the one?

  • What do you love most about them?

  • How have they changed your life for the better?

  • What are your hopes for your future together?

Set the Tone

Decide on the tone you want your vows to have. Should they be romantic, humorous, sentimental, or a mix of all three? The tone should reflect your personality and your relationship. Discuss this with your partner to ensure your vows complement each other.

Structure Your Vows

A simple structure can help keep your vows clear and meaningful. Here’s a basic outline to follow:

  • Introduction: Start with a greeting or an acknowledgment.

  • Body: Share personal stories and qualities you love about your partner.

  • Promises: Make your commitments and promises for the future.

  • Conclusion: End with a heartfelt closing.

Be Authentic

Speak from the heart and be yourself. Your vows should sound like you, so don’t worry about using fancy words or perfect grammar. Authenticity will make your vows more meaningful.

Practice and Edit

Once you’ve written your vows, read them out loud. This will help you hear how they sound and ensure they flow smoothly. Edit as needed to make them concise and impactful.

Keep It a Surprise

While it’s helpful to discuss the tone and length with your partner, keeping the actual vows a surprise can make the moment more special.

Additional Tips for Crafting Perfect Vows

Set Aside Time & Use Personal Anecdotes

Writing your vows is important, so make sure to dedicate time to it without distractions. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself in your thoughts and feelings.

Including specific memories or experiences you’ve shared can make your vows more personal and relatable. Think about a funny story, a challenging time you overcame together, or a memorable trip.

Incorporate Quotes

If you find it challenging to express your feelings, consider incorporating quotes from books, movies, or songs that resonate with your relationship. Just make sure they complement your own words rather than dominate them.

Be Concise & Seek Feedback

While it’s important to say everything you want, try to keep your vows between one to two minutes. This ensures they are heartfelt without becoming too lengthy.

Once you have a draft, consider asking a trusted friend or family member to read it. They can provide feedback and help you ensure your vows are clear and impactful.

Write and Rewrite

Don’t be afraid to write multiple drafts. Writing is a process, and your first draft likely won’t be your final one. Refine your words until they truly capture your feelings.

Practice Makes Perfect

Before the big day, practice reading your vows aloud several times. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident during the ceremony. Practice in front of a mirror, or even record yourself to see how you sound.

On the Wedding Day

On your wedding day, take a deep breath and remember that your vows are a testament to your love and commitment. Speak slowly, clearly, and look into your partner’s eyes. This is a moment for just the two of you, and it will be one of the most cherished memories of your life.


Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalize your ceremony and express your love in a unique and heartfelt manner. Remember to be genuine, reflect on your relationship, and speak from the heart. Your vows are a promise to your partner and a celebration of your journey together.

At Eliza Jane Events, we are dedicated to making your wedding day as special and memorable as possible. Whether you need help planning your ceremony or crafting the perfect vows, we are here to support you every step of the way. Congratulations on your engagement, and happy vow writing!

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